If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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