Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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