Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize