even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize