It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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