Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
