the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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