I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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