Hey man sorry I got all grabby
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
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I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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