Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
