I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
