me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
