Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
