My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Can you bring me the toilet please
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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