he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
