i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
