hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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