I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
