I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
