Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
