Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
