Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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