Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
