thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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