I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
