So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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