I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
