I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
