She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
