Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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