It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You don't make any sense
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