he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
