apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
