Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
