Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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