Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Let's paint friendship bongs
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
