should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
