I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
