I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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