Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Your dad touched me again.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize