I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
