grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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