PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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