WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
soo... how was my night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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