Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
