Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
