I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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