I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
