so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
