Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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