i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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