did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
