so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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