the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
