she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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